Funny how friends are made from strangers

I have given up on changing my blog.
I cant figure out what to do with blogger when it keep giving me errors. Because I'm supremely pissed, I shall not use blogger.
Nothing interesting about life. I'll blog when there is.

Many things have happened lately but as the title of this entry suggests, I didn't have the time to blog about it.
One of the many events is Mr and MRS Toh's wedding. It was terribly sweet and Miss Khoo, no, Mrs Toh looked totally gorgeous!
Food was really good and had the company of the tuition mates so I was a very happy girl that day. (:
This makes me miss Genting!

Also there was ITC and I am considering, note the key word, CONSIDERING going back for CI course. But don't get your hopes up; its not confirmed yet. ITC was- nothing interesting. Besides feeding mosquito of course.

Anyway, I was taking the MRT the other day and I was leaning on the transparent thing. The thing which people are so fond of leaning on when they don't have seats. And I was staring out of the windows and watching the train passing all the usual scenes, HDB flats, road, more roads, a park, some school, more HDB flats, when I realised that I was staring at the scenery which the train has already passed. And if I change my position and lean on the opposite transparent thing, I would be staring at the buildings that the train have yet to pass, in other words, see what has not yet gone by. And I realised how my position on the train has so much to do with my life now. How I keep desperately holding on to my past memories and refusing to look into what the future may hold, refusing to look ahead and move on. In fact, I'm terrified of even looking into the future, terrified that maybe my life won't turn out as how I have always wanted it to and that I may let my hopes up only to be disappointed all over again. Looking back, however, is so comforting- it's as if my past memories is evidence that I have lived. My life now, it's as if I don't have a purpose. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to be comforted about, nothing to be happy about. Dwelling in the past just makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, I have made an impact. Maybe it is me reading too deep again, but these thoughts have been occupying my mind. I need some motivation to drive myself on. I need to stop thinking about such stuff and keep yearning for this pause in my life. I doubt its healthy. I don't have to let go of my memories, but I really need to learn to get new ones.

Senseless rantings aside, I have a tiny mountain of tutorials to finish and I'm going out with farh and woonshin, and hopefully Nat tomorrow to attempt to finish them. I miss Farh. And I need a green tea frappe.




Too bad Pear is not in this picture. Love it. Heh


Anyway, I think too many people know about this blog so maybe I'm going to change it again. Whee

I realised I don't have anything remotely interesting to say these days, so from now on I will not blog until I have something worth reading or when I really need to blog.
toodles.

It's me. It's me. It's just me. It's my own bloody fault in the first place.
I feel like running back. Just seeing them. I don't even have to see all of them. Just let me see the 4 of them. That's all. That's all.
Well, too bad, it's your own fault isn't it?

I wish that my fantasies do come true.
I wish I can look on at these pathetic situations and not care.
I wish I could just live my life without worrying every single damn second.
I wish you would understand how I'm feeling.
I wish that I had something to truly live for.
I wish you would understand.
I wish I feel alive.



Tomorrow will be a better day.

I am so tired. So tired. So tired of questioning whether my decision was right, tired of questioning whether I am going to be fine. Tired of just existing without a purpose. All I want to do is to curl up and cry.
I just want to be happy. Is that a demanding request?
Why is it so hard for me to be happy?



I wish that I could be like I was before
I was riding high but now I'm feeling so low
I wish that you could make my world feel better
And take away the hurt so I won't be so far gone

Farewell to RJ.
I think I will definitely miss RJ, not all but at least some. Let me list the things I love about RJ.
1)HHo8
Which means Sijing, Latha and Isaac and many more! They are the ultimate people to talk to. To laugh, to complain to whine, especially those three. Haven't seen Latha in FOUR years so I'm really rather upset that I'm not going to be her schoolmate again. And Sijing and Isaac! Even though I have only known them for.. 6 weeks? I think they are one of the best people I have ever met. Aww. Hope to see them soon.



Trying to look fierce. And failing of course. Look at Latha.

HHo8

2) Odac 24
Even though I only went for 2 trainings so far, I love odac! It's actually really odd why I'm so drawn to it. Because what i experienced so far is just pt and captain's ball. But then I still love it lots!
Byebye odac. Really glad I got in. Sorry I had to leave.





3) 09SO6Q



Need I say more?

Sang the college anthem for the last time today.

Thank you all those who gave me parting gifts. Although I doubt any of you will ever find my blog.
The Rafflesian dream is over.
Auspicium Melioris Aevi.




Shall end my entry with a damn funny incident which happened while trekking bukit timah nature reserve.

Daddy, Mummy, and I stopped to look at creature on a tree.
Me: Ohh a monkey climbing the tree!
Mum: Why isn't it moving.
Dad: It's not a monkey las.
Me: It is! Looks like one.
Me and Daddy argue a little more when the "monkey" climbed up the tree a little higher and jumped off spreading its wings(looking like a parachute) and landing on another tree.
Me: (stuns for a little while) Oh, its a bat.
Mum: Oh. And I was wondering why the monkey suddenly had an umbrella.
....

Take 5 was awesome! Ok, so it wasn't awesome all the way, but it was still so much fun!
At first the class was together and so we just sat down and ate, and ate, and ate somemore, which wasn't very interesting so some of us went to walk around, but the walking was aimless and boring. The lucky thing is, I saw Farh on the way and she was with Joy! So we went off the watch talentime and I have to declare that 5-some(however you spell that) is superb. Some comedy thing, booyah or something like that was really really really really good too and 5 was good too. I though Take 5 will be a supreme bore with lots of planned activities but it turned out to be completely different! Turns out, we had the free time to ourselves and we could do anything! Even wandering around. It was super fun.
After that went out for an OG lunch which wasn't all that interesting. The interesting part came after that where some of us went to play bridge at some park. I kept losing and was thoroughly upset. But I'm over it now.
Haha.


Talentime is this school is 2000 times better than talentime in the other school.
Haha.
Go figure.


To be or not to be, it's still pencils.
(2b or not 2b )

Today was, nothing special.
Somehow I got a record breaking 6 flowers this year, but didn't feel very loved.
BOO.
After school met up with Miss Jin and Miss Tan(yes the strange one) and we watched P.S. I love you. It was such a fantastic movie that I fell asleep. Seriously interesting okay!  And so after that had a walk around.
And a woman approached me and asked me IF I WAS SELLING FLOWERS! I wasn't carrying that many flowers please. It was only 6. And Xiaoxi laughed really loudly at me. ):
Nvm las. She's irritating.

Pictures when I feel like it.



Sometimes I really need to stop  living in fantasy.

To show her undying affection for me, my darling koko decided to shit in my room. The smell filled my room at an alarming pace and I had to clean it up. 
A cherry on top to a beautiful day. Who doesn't love a day where you have headaches, muscle aches, burning sensations and having to clean up very very smelly dog shit?

I need an ice pack.

While trekking Bukit Timah Nature Reserve yesterday.

Me: We should bring a bag pack next time. (smiles happily to myself)
Daddy: Yah, bring hooch and chips.
Me: Yah and jie shall carry them so she can train herself.
Daddy: Yes and you shall carry me.
Me: Are you nuts?!
Daddy: No, I'm a homo sapien.
...
Then i proceeded to roll off the steep steps and had to be carried back to the car, frothing in the mouth.


Kidding about the last part, just in case you are can't tell.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

CNY was pretty uneventful and besides my dear koko peeing on me, nothing much happened.

The CNY preparations started on Tuesday where mummy went for grocery shopping. Me being the good (and very kpo) girl, decided to tag along!



My mum said I look super aunty in the photo. But I refuse to believe her. Heh. If you think I look spastic in the photo, then I have achieved the intended effect.

So all the groceries were for my reunion dinner which was, not very reunion-ish because not the whole extended family was there. Only my family and the Goddather and godmother. But of course, dinner was really good and I had a serious case of over consumption.


The dishes without the veggies with abalone.



And the finished meal with a few pathetic pieces of abalone left because no one in the family seem to like abalone.


And after that, we still ate fruit salad! Serious case of overeating. I have already gained one kg.


So today, I woke up pretty early, and left for my paternal's grandparents' house!

As soon as we reached there, and after we wishing everyone gong xi fa cai and so on, we all attempted to plop down and eat brunch. My grandmother's humongous cat was sitting rather serenely near the table, preventing my dad from pulling out his chair. So my Dad exclaimed rather loudly "Oie Garfield what are you doing here?" And I laughed very loudly and unglamly because I never realised how much similarity that cat has to Garfield! Fat, orange and lazy.
Have a look :


My family is vegetarian on chu yi, so obviously all vegetarian dishes.


These dishes make everyone turn into little monsters and eat a lot. I ate so frigging much that I had serious problems walking after that. My grandmother's cooking is really really really good! I wished I had her talent. :D

And after eating a gazillion lots, we proceeded to go to my maternal grandmother's house. Nothing much interesting there except that my cousins are almost unrecognisable.

And, other pictures.


Mummy and me. Don't know why I look so short.

Jie and I

When I have nothing better to do in the car, I take photos of myself. :D


The tired sweetie who peed on me.

After this picture, she immediately had diarrhoea. Close shave, but I still got peed on.

Ok, going off.
toodles

I am supposed to be doing my chemistry practical now, but I'm too lazy. 

Its so annoying when people sound so surprise when I tell them that I'm not study in the school. All because of the school's prestige. I guess most people didn't believe me when I told them i needed a change. Is a name that important? I guess it is. Different reaction when you mention different schools. Probably when I tell people that I'm going to change schools, they will think that I was kicked out. Oh, whatever, I can't be bothered what these people think of me.


Anyway, went for some cip fair today. The animal one is really interesting and I'm really keen on long term volunteering. But it saddens me to see so many heartless comments. Shan't talk about that though, its annoys me like mad. I guess when you're rich and pampered, its only your world? I won't generalise but its just an observation. Met Chrystal and Natalie later on and we signed up for thousands of the cip.

Then I went shopping at causeway point with mummy and jie. Bought a new pair of shoes while my sister complain about all the clothes. She still haven't bought any new year clothes yet and new year isn't exactly weeks away.


Anyway, I'm looking forward to New Year. Wish the ex classmates would go out and eat roti prata. Haha.


Oh no, I just remembered. Going to miss the FIRST odac meeting on Monday. Going for class learning journal. Damn.

School was well, school. School wasn't interesting at all. I almost fell asleep during math lecture and I had to run 2.4 in the morning. So school wasn't fantastic.
But on a happier note, met Farh after school and we went to Boon Lay went I found out that Farh twirls her noodles before she eats them. Super annoying. Walked around, laughed at random things and finally went home.
Don't complain about my boring blog entry. My life isn't interesting at all.
Which reminds me that only 2 people know about the existance of this blog. And I told neither.

Anyway, I yearn and dread to get out of this place. Reasons are simple, because of the people here.


I miss RV


I need friends.

I need you.


I shall stop whining. Back to chemistry tutorial.

On this day, I promise myself that I'll show them my decision is not wrong, and I'll show them how precious I can be.
Even if they don't believe me, please, let me believe in myself.

Now i finally know what it feels like to feel a stab in the heart.


Now I see my worth. Nothing.

Watched Chesty Nutty Bang Bang today and it was really good! It was very funny but I didn't get some of the jokes. Was very traumatised at certain points of time, especially the pole dance part, super traumatised. ~Woo shit happens~ Hahas, that's going to be my pet phrase from now on! It was just very funny but because it was kind of parody overload so I can't remember all of them.
But for those which I can remember,
"Are you out of your stupefied stage yet?"
"yah"
"oh it's hard to tell you know"
HAHA

"Year 1 wingardium leviosa. "

HAHA. Those who are reading probably can't get it but the memory of it is damn funny.
Another very important thing was that Chrys and I were DAMN NEAR to the stage! So ecJG was in full and perfect view. (nudges Pearlyn)


Oh and we stayed over at the airport with Teo Ah yue  yesterday till today, and she has offically left Singapore. ):
I'm also damn tired now. Since 6 am yesterday to now, I have slept less than 4 hours.
Oh and my JAE application is still not done.

First time using livejournal and even though my template looks terrible and I don't know what to do with it, I shall write. Feeling lousy now. ): Results were damn depressing, and really really shocking.
 For one, I got an A2 for higher chinese. I usually just pass and getting a distinction for it shocked me. What was worst was that I did better for my hcl than for my english. I have been praying and praying that I will pass my HCL. Turns out I have been praying too hard, such that I got a A2. I wonder if that script is really mine. Anyway, Chemistry was a disappointment too. I knew I screwed up after the examination, but it didn't dawn upon me that it was that bad. I'm really miffed because I have put in a lot of hard work into Chemistry and I have not gotten a less than an A1 for the past 3 terms.
Cried into Jiaxu when I got my results. Poor thing, I think i flooded her uniform.

Just realised how ironic the whole situation is. The dream school, which I mugged like mad to get into the school, in the end, I'm just going to leave without fighting to get in. Even though I can't do well enough to get in, but I'm not going to appeal either, I'm just going to leave. It's kind of sad, but well, what's done is done, but I'm really glad I am there for the first 6 weeks, at least I know how its like and at least I have stepped into the school campus before. I love their school spirit and all but I guess.. its just me. I'm going to buy their pe attire. Pity, I love their school uniform but I will never get to wear it.

By the way, my finger is rotting away again.